100.2

Round and round we go. Ugh. I had to call the Dr. again today because I am still sick (got a cold when Mia got sick... who had strep and a sinus infection)... and that turned back into a sinus infection...and I'm afraid I might have Strep. I called the Dr. today, and she prescribed another round of antibiotic, but I'm going to call her again in the morning and see if she'll do the test. I'm miserable. And... this is ridiculous. Aren't parents just supposed to get colds and such when their kid goes to daycare? Not every single fricking thing they get....???!!!!

Seriously, I think my head is going to fall off. My throat is killing me... i'm achey all over and I have a slight fever. My lymph nodes are sore and so are my ears (although, last time I told her that, she said they were fine... it was in my sinuses, actually. Great.)

So there you have it. Boy, can I whine. Please, pass the cheese now.

Peace and wellness...

PS. I checked the antibiotic the Dr. gave me and it is for Strep (among a couple of other things). The last one I was on, was mostly for sinusitis. So... that makes me feel a little better, knowing that this antibiotic might kick in soon and I'll feel better. Please God.

Hats and Bunnies

Just look at that face!!!! When they said she had a 'ready smile', they were so right! Oh how I hope she's always that way!!

Ok, now I'm guessing it appears that I like lime-green, eh? Well... my poor daughter. hehe. Not only is the hat adorable... she was trying to give Mama kisses while I tried to take the pics!! LOL. We got these hats from Sis who got them from a friend. We've been playing with them all weekend. And I was finally able to get a couple of pics.

Oh, and the other one is of her bunnies!! I got a 2nd one, just in case it became one of her favorites... and, it looks like Mama might have been right!!! It is amazing the love you can have for a child.






Peace.

Carseat

I got Lil M a new car seat today. It is pretty nice! It is grey and pink. Girly!



It's called the Alpha Omega Elite in Bella (by Cosco), but I got it at BabysRUs 'cause I had two gift cards to use. Sis told me not to get a new one, 'cause I have one I got for free... but I wanted a cute one. LOL. And since I have to look at it for 3 or more YEARS, I thought I'd go ahead and get it!!! haha. We'll use the other one in Sis' car!!

I asked a guy in the parking lot to help me take out the old one, which was getting too small for her when she has a coat on! So, he did get it out for me, and then I sat there with her in the old one... and the care on in the parking lot and got the new one installed ALL BY MYSELF! Woot!!

Anyway, so, I had three things I wanted to get done this weekend... laundry, clean the floors, and get to the store and get more tissues, juice and chocolate. hehe. I got most of the laundry done, so far. I cleaned the kitchen floor. Fun, fun. And I did get to the store and get the few items I needed. But I didn't get the DVD-R up and running. I even got a converter to see if I can get it to work tonight. Otherwise, I've got to have Mindy look at it. I just can't get it to work... and, yes, I read the directions!!

So, after all that fun stuff, I decided we had to get out of the house again today for a little bit, even though Lil M and I aren't 100% well yet. I can only sit still for so long! I'd run, but I'm still sick.

Anyway, enough rambling. I like the carseat so far. I think Mia does, too. So, let's see!!!

Peace.

TGIF

Lil M is starting to feel better, I think. Finally. :) We have a nice 4 day weekend ahead of us. I can't wait. I am hoping and praying that we are over the major sicknesses for this winter. But, I'm not counting my chickens.

It is supposed to be damn cold here this weekend. Oh fun. So, we're going to stay in and stay warm!!

Let's see... miscellaneous thoughts... I'm registered for a marathon at the end of April. I've got to start getting ready for that. I should start working on a quilt for Lil M this weekend. I haven't been doing that either. I think it is time to get back to some things I used to do.... my hobbies.

I wonder how other families are doing now that they are home from China, like us, for a few months. I try to keep up on some blogs, but I don't think I get a real sense of how others are doing. I think we're doing pretty good, all things considered.

Peace.

Strep

Lil M has strep throat and sinusitis. Booh. She is feeling just awful. She's got a temp of 102.1 again (yesterday and this morning). I had to pick her up from daycare. I took her straight to the Dr., who, thankfully, was able to get her in!

She's on antibiotic and fever reducers. Thank GOD, Sis was able to come stay with her today. She didn't want Mama to leave this morning. And, frankly, I don't blame her. I didn't want to leave her either.

Peace.

Gingerbread house

Little M and C both wore their China shirts yesterday for a bit. Too cute! :)





Today, Sis, C , and I put together a little gingerbread house Gramsey gave Sis. Chase was wearing his apron I bought him... the hat is a little small, but he enjoyed it. :) We all enjoyed eating the house once it was put together!!





Lil M is teething... not feeling so good. I hope she feels better tomorrow!

Peace.

Pensive

Today I read a lot of adoptees' blogs. I do that sometimes. I really like to read different perspectives about children and their experiences. It definitely puts me in a pensive mood, though.

The whole real parent, aparent, "having" children (by birth, of course), first choice, second best... some adoptees thing transracial adoption should not be an option, that children should have a different way to grow up than in a family that is of a different race. Some understand the need for adoption in society, but still don't like it. The love their aparents, but feel disconnected, empty. They get tired of answering questions, or being told that they should feel a certain way about their aparents and families. That they should be 'lucky' or 'grateful'. Some want to find their birth parents, others don't. But the ones who do, say that the ones who don't will want to someday. I wonder if that is true. I don't believe you can put adoptees all in one bucket, just like you can't with the sexes, race, class.

So, of course this all makes me think of Lil M and how she might grow up to hate me and the institution of adoption. I know, I know... she'll love me and I'm worrying over nothing. Well, hate to break it to ya... it's something to me. I'm sure I'm not the only parent out there who wants to "fix" it all (make all the bad stuff go away) for our children... right? That's where this comes from. I don't want her to hurt. I don't want people to say mean things to her. Or for her to be labeled, or for people to act like leaving China wasn't a big deal. 'Cause one day it just might be. She's got to mourn her losses, even if others don't think they're pertinent. And I know those kinds of things are going to happen. I just wish they wouldn't.

Second thought:
I also read about Single Parents, again (just happened upon it, actually). An interesting article about Korean single mom's and how they are viewed. Poorly, apparently. And, that hit home. I just wrote about it yesterday... I was trying to put out there a happy little vibe about my status, I guess. It is interesting, in this article, the lady pointed out that people assume single parents are incapable, uneducated, with low self-esteem... (I'll find the article and post it, when I get the chance.) They were referring to women who get divorced or who's husband's have passed. I realize they weren't writing an article about those of us who choose to single parent by choice. But still. It hit a nerve. Maybe it is because my own Mom struggled when we were growing up. And to think someone thought less of her because she had kids just makes me mad.

Some folks at work treat me the same way. Like just because I'm a Mom now, I'm not smart anymore or capable or can't handle work just like everyone else. Which is just a load of hooey. I mean, really. We single parents have a tough go, sometimes, yes, but we're pretty darn organized and can do a lot more than a lot of married folks out there (no offense). We have to. We have to be all things... all the time. No rest for the weary. When we're tired... who changes the diaper? Me. Who gives the bathes and makes dinner (albeit, nothing fancy)? Me. Who washes ALL the clothes, does the dishes, takes care of the cat, the dogs, the baby and myself?? If someone gets sick? Hm, let me see... that'd be me. I have to make sure we get up in the morning. And put everyone to bed every night. Oh, and work a full-time job, pay the bills, get the oil changed... yada, yada, yada.

One day my boss acted incredulous because I wanted to take the morning to get my furnace fixed... why didn't I do that over the weekend, he asked? Oh, I don't know... they don't always work the weekend, and if they do they are more expensive. I said... you'd have to do the same thing if your furnace broke... he said... Nope. my WIFE handles all that (and to that he waved his hand away in a brushing motion). Must be nice!!! I need one of those... can I borrow her sometime? Sounds like she might be pretty useful!!

See my point? Oh, and even if you don't... these are just my thoughts for the day. I'm not trying to slam couples. I'm even jealous sometimes. :)

Peace.

White Kid, Black Family

Here is an intersting article. If you think of the worries we have, this really puts it into perspective (for me, anyway).

...The timing of this NPR story is serendipitous for me. I have long been struggling with my family's in-process transracial adoption, but for almost opposing reasons to those in this story -- we're a black family attempting to adopt a little white girl.

To read more go to the NPR article: White Kid, Black Family

Peace.

Single Parenting

(you might be seeing a theme here today. Happy Thoughts.)

Here is a snipet of an article I read on : http://www.adoptionservices.org/adoption/

......single adoptive parents have proven to be very successful in encouraging their own acceptance. The latest research indicates that children raised in single adoptive parent families compare favorably with other adopted children and show a healthy involvement with friends and family as well as in the activities of their age group. It has been shown that it is the instability of broken homes, rather than the absence of a parent, that causes difficulty for a child.
In 1985, an 8- year longitudinal study of 22 single adoptive parents reported that the child care provided by the parents had been consistent and of high quality. The researchers stated that, "The single parents of this study lead busy lives and seem to manage the demands of jobs, home, and parenting with a sure touch." The parents interviewed, who were both African-American and Caucasian, had adopted young children, most of whom were under the age of 3. The authors questioned whether a single parent placement would be as appropriate for an older child who has had difficult experiences, since more older children are available today.

These researchers concluded that "single parent homes may be particularly suited for children who need intense and close relationships and thus particularly appropriate for many of the older children in foster care who are now being prepared for permanent homes. For some children, such a close bond may meet a need and be a path to normal development."

Blessings and Peace my friends.

Our Song

I love a lady named Beth Nielson Chapman who sings this fantastic song called "Say Goodnight"

This is what I want for Lil M and Me. butterfly kisses and sugar and spice and everything nice. Now, don't ya'll go stealing our song!!! :) (but if you do, let me know...)

Here are the lyrics:

Say goodnight not good-bye
You will never leave my heart behind
Like the path of a star
Ill be anywhere you are

In the spark that lies beneath the coals
In the secret place inside your soul
Keep my light in your eyes
Say goodnight not good-bye

Dont you fear when you dream
Waking up is never what it seems
Like a jewel buried deep
Like a promise meant to keep

You are everything you want to be
So just let your heart reach out to me
Ill be right by your side
Say goodnight not good-bye

You are everything you want to be
So just let your heart reach out to me
Keep my light in your eyes
Say goodnight not good-bye

Peace.

Quote

I found this wonderful quote today, written by an adopted daughter who is soon to give birth to her child. I mean, I seriously feel exactly this same way. I hope it is ok to use her quote. It came from the "Relative Choices" blog.

It expresses just how I feel and I hope my daughter feels her whole life.

"Ultimately I want generations after me to know this about the culture of blood and the culture of adoption: That blood is thicker than water, but love can be thicker than blood. " Hollee McGinnis

Peace.

Mama Bear

I went to the local Chinese restaurant tonight to get take-out. The guy at the counter and I had what I thought was an odd conversation... he said "she's Chinese" (and about the same time, I said, she's from China, 'cause he kept looking at her... he said, "I know")... then said she was lucky (typical comment... I'm very lucky, too)... and that adopting from China is harder these days. Mentioned money, weight, and divorce. Um, yeah. Then asked me questions about divorce, "are people who have been divorced allowed to adopt?". I said what I knew, but that it didn't pertain to me.

I was just glad that they still let Single people adopt when I did.

His tone was odd. I'm not sure why. But I couldn't place the tone. Was he upset that I adopted from China? If he didn't care or feel something at all, why did he ask? Then he asked me how much the adoption cost. None of his business, for sure. I just kind of tried to be vague. Was totally taken off-guard. I guess I was hoping it might be a woman at the restaurant tonight. This was our first experience in a Chinese rest. since we've been home. I wasn't expecting the questions. I guess I've been lucky so far that people just tell me she's cute and move on.

The really interesting thing was that Mia kept clinging to me. Went to put her arms around me, even. He noticed and said she's already close to me. Um, yeah. She clung to me twice, for sure. Like, please don't leave me here... (I don't think I'm exaggerating, if that means anything.) She just doesn't normally react that way when we're around other people. So, I'm guessing it is because he was Chinese and maybe sounded somewhat familiar.

And then when we got into the car she was all kisses... She's been with me for 6 months. This was our first time like this. I am very happy that she clung to me... I told her several times on the way to the car that she was MINE and going home with Mama and that I would never leave her!!! :)

I do wonder... did she know (consciously or subconsciously) that he was from China and that she wanted to stay with me, Mama? Oh, how I love my daughter.

Fooey on the world. She's just a girl. I'm just a mom. I'm ok, really, just feel like it was my inauguration into what people say to our children.

Peace.

My cutie

(I don't iron baby clothes, but this outfit is too cute, anyway!)




I LOVE this pic. :) She was leaning toward me to give me kisses. hehe. Can you say love?

Peace.

Sinus Infection

Ok... so, so the reason I'm still sick, apparently, is because I have a good old-fashioned sinus infection. Oh goody. Just what I wanted for Christmas and the New Year! I was able to finally get into the Dr.'s office this afternoon. I thought my head was going to explode. It hurt SO bad. She gave me antibiotics, prescription decongestant and nasal spray.

I hope the meds really help soon.

Gotta go get some dinner for Mia. She hasn't been feeling so hot either. And, since she didn't get a nap today... she's moving to the next room up called the Pink Pig room. Her current room is called Puppy Love. This is her second transition, and is gonna be tough for us for the next week or two.

Peace.

First day back for Lil M

I didn't go to work today, 'cause I am still sick. Ugh. But I did take Lil M to daycare for the first time in a week and a half! She seemed to do ok with it... she was there for 5-6 hours. She got home, had dinner, had her bottle... I put her in bed. She cried. :( And normally, when this happens, she doesn't cry but for 2 minutes or less and she's fine. So, I let her be for a few minutes. She seemed to fall asleep. Ok then. Or not.

About 45 minutes later, she woke up fully and would NOT go back to sleep. I tried to get her to sleep by holding her in her room. She dozed off, and then woke right up when I put her in her crib. Oh no. So, I tried telling her it was sleeping time and to lay down and sleep. She went ape-sh*t. She stood up and cried and wailed. Then she made herself so upset she threw up. Oh no.

So, when I went in the 3rd time (all in about 10 minutes), I changed her clothes and brought her downstairs and held her. We normally have 20-30 minutes of Mama hugs/holding most every day. Not every single day, but most of the time... So, apparently, she needed to fall asleep with me tonight. At 10:30pm. Holy mackerel. I hope she does better tomorrow and this doesn't mess her up too much.

They are also moving her to the next room up at daycare. Which means, another change. And I know she's been happy having Mama home for quite a few days. Next week is going to suck.

Anyway, I am also glad I have had the extra time with her. I knew going back to daycare was going to be a bit tough for a few days. Which is why I wanted to take her back part-time this week. I'm hoping she will do better next week, but I have my doubts, obviously. Have a good night.

Peace.

New Years Day

I wish Lil M and I weren't sick today! UGH. But, I'm so excited that it is our first new year together! She's just wonderful.

I can't believe we've been a family for more than 6 months now!

Peace.